Heaven

Ok, don't let the title confuse you into thinking that I am going to talk about theology and philosophical issues here. Satan is right when he says, "The mind is its own place, and in itself/Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."
I had the most amazing time when I went to Bangalore to meet A. It was a short trip, only 3 days. And I didn't even realise when I was back in Delhi. Everything happened so fast that I didn't have time to recall what happened there. So although this posting is of no interest to you, please bear with me and let me indulge myself.
I took a late night flight to Bangalore and was really tired. But in spite of almost dozing off at the airport, I couldn't stop myself from smiling after every two seconds. People must have thought I was crazy. I was meeting A after 3 months and couldn't wait to see him again. The flight wasn't late but we went via Hyderabad. Luckily most of the people got down there and I made the 3 seats my bed. The cabin crew also didn't disturb me. As we flew over Bangalore, I was so excited, it was almost 2 a.m. and there were millions of lights glittering in the city below. A lives here, I thought. We landed and I tried to fix my hair, I was looking so tired and I wanted to be pretty for A. I switched my mobile phone on and immediately I got a call from him. But I didn't answer it as I was on roaming. So A sent a message "Welcome."
After what seemed to be a long wait, I got my luggage and went out. There he was talking to someone on phone. Then he saw me too. And he got flowers!!! He got flowers!!! I had thought of telling him earlier but that would sort of ruin the moment. And I was so happy to see the roses which he had kept fresh with some secret solution from the florist. He is such a genius. :)
Then we went to his house, it was really nice. I also met his friends but was very tired so didn't talk much. I was so happy. The next few days we visited friends, went to some amazing places for dinner, made mushroom curry and he prepared his special ghee-garlic bread. Oh his list! I still have it with me. It consists of in-depth research about places to visit in Bangalore. Bangalore is really beautiful, gulmohar trees in full bloom, nice roads, though much smaller than Delhi. The people are more decent and not creeps like the ones here. (Hey!!! A just came online and I am chatting with him too!!!)
Anyway the best moments were walks at M.G. Road, Garuda Mall, Scary House (I screamed so much that my voice was hoarse and I think I entertained a lot of people with my dramatic exit), SOS, Lalbagh, CCD (with the little furry mouse and friendly waiters) and CASA DEL SOL. I recommend it to everyone, it was so beautiful. We had the best table too, nice breeze, and some amazing singer singing all my favourite songs. I wanted to start dancing like crazy and was almost dragging A. (I swear it had nothing to do with the cocktail; A always ends up taking the light ones while I unknowingly choose the stronger ones and poor guy has to spend the rest of the evening being my grandfather). It was so romantic and I will never forget the evening.
But I started feeling depressed the next day onwards, so came back early; it was again the start of endless lonely days without A. The World Cup final was going on and we watched it for a while with his friends. But I just couldn't come to terms with the fact that I was leaving and would be alone again. Cried a lot. A lot. Felt like packing A in my bag and taking him to Delhi. Next day early morning, we went to the airport. After my baggage check was over, I went back to A. I wanted to be with him as much as possible. But I couldn't go out. We talked to each other through the glass partition. After shaking hands through the small slit in the partition, I left. I knew he was feeling horrible too and would feel worse after going home. I called him again after security check was over and kept on crying although I didn't want him to know that. After a while, I was back in Delhi, p.g., office. Alone.
After office I almost imagined him to call google and find out the addresses of the restaurants, as we used to every day. But there was no one with me, just smiling couples everywhere out on a Sunday evening.
I know the whole thing sounds like those mushy romantic flicks. But this my life and this is no fiction but the reality that I have to face everyday. We want to be with each other but cannot due to career concerns. But it is really difficult to be away from him, not sharing the little things, not being able to see each other, simply not having him around. It's been almost 5 years that we have lived miles away and at least 3 more to go. The whole thing overwhelms me and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what lies ahead, but I hope it doesn't hurt so much and I remain sane when we are finally together.
Oh the Heaven part... In Casa Del Sol the singer was singing Bryan Adams' Heaven and it aptly sums up my visit to Bangalore and being with A... if anything is close to Heaven this is it.